Alma 61
Alma 61
The freemen and the kingmen had been fighting for five years, leading to multiple civil wars among the Nephites. Once Moroni thought the dissenters were taken care of (chapter 51) he went onto battle the Lamanites. He thought Pahoran and Zarahemla were ok- so much so that his letter to Pahoran in the last chapter was pretty scathing.
But, Pahoran took it well. (9) "And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but to do rejoice in the greatness of your heart..."
Talk about not getting offended! I've seen people leave the church for far less than that!
There's a great talk by Elder Bednar about being offended here. He talks about how being offended is really a choice. It's true. Feeling offended is similar to feeling hurt, but added to that is pride, judgment and sometimes retribution (I can't believe THAT person would say that to ME. I'm not coming back to church or talking to them for three weeks!) (Ok- that was a total childish oversimplification- but you get the picture.)
Some may read the chapter and say that Pahorna had every right to be offended. But, is getting offended really a "right"? Nothing good seems to come from it.
We come to understand that Moroni spoke out of passion and ignorance. He was in a dangerous and desperate place- and he spoke with assumptions and without constraint.
Pahoran had the choice to read Moroni's words and be offended. ("How DARE you talk to me, the leader of the Nephites, this way. You have no idea what's going on here. How could you assume those things about me? I've got enough here on my plate, and I am SO not going to help you. That's what you get!) (Okay- I know Pahoran didn't sound like a spoiled teenage girl- but you get the picture here too. lol)
Pahoran made the choice to not be offended. He saw being the false assumptions to Moroni's courage and passion. He lovingly corrected him and humbly asked him for help. He also immediately sent help to Helaman. Because if his response he would soon get the help me so needed.
Imagine if Pahoran had chosen to be offended and written back a nasty letter, or even opted not just to ignore Moroni out of anger? We can only assume the worst for Helaman's army and the city of Zarahemla.
A few years ago I stepped out of a Relief Society lesson to take care of something. When I returned, the sisters were in the middle of a conversation about a topic I can't even remember. I raised my hand and commented. The lesson was lovely and the class ended. After class a sister came to me and said, "You know, I was really hurt by your comment today."
I was shocked! My comment was completely benign, I thought.
She told me that what I had said sounded like I was insulting her situation. It turned out that when I had stepped out, this sister shared something about her life. When I came back in, my comment seemed to speak to that. But, in reality, I never heard it.
She thought I was being insensitive and judgmental. In reality- I was just clueless because I wasn't even there.
The point of the story is this: Rather than being offended at my seeming insensitivity, this sister came to me right after and we talked it out. I had no idea what I said had had any negative impact on her. She chose to seek me out and share with me her feelings. That gave me the chance to explain and apologized. What could have been a thorn in her side for years- unbeknownst to me- was cleared up in five minutes.
She was really upset with me, but I wasn't upset with her. I was simply so glad that she told me so I could clear the air.
That is what Pahoran felt. He wasn't upset that Moroni was writing him. He was glad that Moroni was still around so he could clear the air.
Hm. Never thought I'd liken the War Chapters to Relief Society.....lol!
Anyway- what did you think/learn today?
The freemen and the kingmen had been fighting for five years, leading to multiple civil wars among the Nephites. Once Moroni thought the dissenters were taken care of (chapter 51) he went onto battle the Lamanites. He thought Pahoran and Zarahemla were ok- so much so that his letter to Pahoran in the last chapter was pretty scathing.
But, Pahoran took it well. (9) "And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but to do rejoice in the greatness of your heart..."
Talk about not getting offended! I've seen people leave the church for far less than that!
There's a great talk by Elder Bednar about being offended here. He talks about how being offended is really a choice. It's true. Feeling offended is similar to feeling hurt, but added to that is pride, judgment and sometimes retribution (I can't believe THAT person would say that to ME. I'm not coming back to church or talking to them for three weeks!) (Ok- that was a total childish oversimplification- but you get the picture.)
Some may read the chapter and say that Pahorna had every right to be offended. But, is getting offended really a "right"? Nothing good seems to come from it.
We come to understand that Moroni spoke out of passion and ignorance. He was in a dangerous and desperate place- and he spoke with assumptions and without constraint.
Pahoran had the choice to read Moroni's words and be offended. ("How DARE you talk to me, the leader of the Nephites, this way. You have no idea what's going on here. How could you assume those things about me? I've got enough here on my plate, and I am SO not going to help you. That's what you get!) (Okay- I know Pahoran didn't sound like a spoiled teenage girl- but you get the picture here too. lol)
Pahoran made the choice to not be offended. He saw being the false assumptions to Moroni's courage and passion. He lovingly corrected him and humbly asked him for help. He also immediately sent help to Helaman. Because if his response he would soon get the help me so needed.
Imagine if Pahoran had chosen to be offended and written back a nasty letter, or even opted not just to ignore Moroni out of anger? We can only assume the worst for Helaman's army and the city of Zarahemla.
A few years ago I stepped out of a Relief Society lesson to take care of something. When I returned, the sisters were in the middle of a conversation about a topic I can't even remember. I raised my hand and commented. The lesson was lovely and the class ended. After class a sister came to me and said, "You know, I was really hurt by your comment today."
I was shocked! My comment was completely benign, I thought.
She told me that what I had said sounded like I was insulting her situation. It turned out that when I had stepped out, this sister shared something about her life. When I came back in, my comment seemed to speak to that. But, in reality, I never heard it.
She thought I was being insensitive and judgmental. In reality- I was just clueless because I wasn't even there.
The point of the story is this: Rather than being offended at my seeming insensitivity, this sister came to me right after and we talked it out. I had no idea what I said had had any negative impact on her. She chose to seek me out and share with me her feelings. That gave me the chance to explain and apologized. What could have been a thorn in her side for years- unbeknownst to me- was cleared up in five minutes.
She was really upset with me, but I wasn't upset with her. I was simply so glad that she told me so I could clear the air.
That is what Pahoran felt. He wasn't upset that Moroni was writing him. He was glad that Moroni was still around so he could clear the air.
Hm. Never thought I'd liken the War Chapters to Relief Society.....lol!
Anyway- what did you think/learn today?
Whew... caught up. After reading Moroni's rant to Pahoran and Pahoran's answer back, plus having to deal with an issue yesterday in my own little world.... One of the greatest gifts God has given us is the power to LISTEN! I mean listening to hear, to open our ears, hearts and minds to actually HEAR what another person has to say.
ReplyDeleteMoroni was pretty ticked. Pahoran listened to hear. When we listen to hear, it has to be done with a softened heart. Can't work with a prideful or hard heart. If there is anger or pride in our heart, our ears don't work. Our brain doesn't comprehend. Our heart stays in the same place.
It works the same with all communication whether it is a child, spouse, friend or the Lord. We have to settle ourselves first, before the critical conversations, so we can have ears to hear. If we don't, all the words are just wasted.
Saw something as my comment was published.... "heart"... hear + t.
ReplyDeleteHaven't figured out the great life lesson with that yet... But there is an example waiting to happen during some future lesson. =)
Love it all! I hear and heart you :-)
DeleteI wondered if Pahoran had to count to 10 or take a few deep breaths before he wrote his reply, lol. I think I would have had to. He seemed to take it all in his stride though. What a great example! I think I would have to pray really hard for God to soften my heart after getting a letter like Moroni wrote. He was following Christ in his meekness and mildness there. Very inspiring.
ReplyDeleteJo, that was funny! 1...2...3.... :)
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