1 Nephi 20
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"...there is no peace, saith the Lord, unto the wicked."
That last line in the last verse of this chapter struck me. I am a fairly righteous woman. I am temple worthy, and strive to live the commandments. I have sins, of course, as we all do. And I am frustrated and sorrowed by them. I actively seek to recognize my faults/weaknesses/shortcomings and ask the Lord to help me with them.
I've never committed any grievous sin, though.
Then, just the other night I dreamed an awful dream. I dreamt that I done something awful, just awful. It was so realistic. I felt sick. I sobbed in my dream. I sorrowed at the loss of the direction of the Holy Ghost. I grieved at the loss of my family. I ached more than I ever have at the thought of disappointing my Heavenly Father and the Savior. I felt worse than I have ever felt in my life.
It was so real, so terrible, that I awoke in the middle of the night with tears in my eyes. I had been crying in my sleep. As I lay there in bed, in the early hours of the morning, I prayed until the ache in my heart went away- for I did wake up still hurting, so bad was the pain.
How grateful I am it was just a dream!! I never want to feel that kind of sorrow and pain in my waking hours!!
When I read this last line, I felt that I understand it more now that I did before. I had no peace- not one small shred of it. It was horrible and empty.
I am grateful I had that dream, though. Perhaps God allowed me to have it so I could see what it felt like, and recognize the great difference between that and the peace that comes through obedience.
Oh, the peace and joy I felt when those terrible feelings went away!!!
That experience educated me, but also confirmed my resolve to stay ever closer and more fervent on the strait and narrow path! I will do all in my power to never bring that kind of agony upon myself- awake or asleep!!
"...there is no peace, saith the Lord, unto the wicked."
That last line in the last verse of this chapter struck me. I am a fairly righteous woman. I am temple worthy, and strive to live the commandments. I have sins, of course, as we all do. And I am frustrated and sorrowed by them. I actively seek to recognize my faults/weaknesses/shortcomings and ask the Lord to help me with them.
I've never committed any grievous sin, though.
Then, just the other night I dreamed an awful dream. I dreamt that I done something awful, just awful. It was so realistic. I felt sick. I sobbed in my dream. I sorrowed at the loss of the direction of the Holy Ghost. I grieved at the loss of my family. I ached more than I ever have at the thought of disappointing my Heavenly Father and the Savior. I felt worse than I have ever felt in my life.
It was so real, so terrible, that I awoke in the middle of the night with tears in my eyes. I had been crying in my sleep. As I lay there in bed, in the early hours of the morning, I prayed until the ache in my heart went away- for I did wake up still hurting, so bad was the pain.
How grateful I am it was just a dream!! I never want to feel that kind of sorrow and pain in my waking hours!!
When I read this last line, I felt that I understand it more now that I did before. I had no peace- not one small shred of it. It was horrible and empty.
I am grateful I had that dream, though. Perhaps God allowed me to have it so I could see what it felt like, and recognize the great difference between that and the peace that comes through obedience.
Oh, the peace and joy I felt when those terrible feelings went away!!!
That experience educated me, but also confirmed my resolve to stay ever closer and more fervent on the strait and narrow path! I will do all in my power to never bring that kind of agony upon myself- awake or asleep!!
This was a rough chapter for me. I read it, but had to keep re-reading some of the verses because I felt lost. I looked for one thing that would be a take home point.... Come ye near unto me.
ReplyDeleteOur family has this word- a combo of come and here- smushed together. It has become that little endearing word that means.... come here. Something like C'mere. But with the C being kind of silent, but not.
It means.... I have something important to say. I need you to stand by me. I want to speak to you and just you. Usually the word is spoken with a little hand-wave that beckons the other person. Maybe a knowing grin that says you really want to hear this.
When I read this verse from God, I imagined him waving his hand with a beckoning smile saying C'mere.
I love verse 18. It gives the promise to those who keep the commandments. "O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments—then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea."
ReplyDeleteI think as a church we get confused about why we keep commandments. We think that if we keep the commandments we will receive salvation. I don't agree. I think Jesus brings us salvation. Commandments help us to become the type of people we need to be, along with the grace of Jesus. Commandments bring us safety and peace. No one will keep all the commandments, so to say that they lead to salvation is incorrect.
I love the imagery and language that Isaiah uses. Sure, I can't understand some of it, and might not know the context, but there are a few golden nuggets that I can appreciate.
This is a "compass" chapter to me. Am I square with the Lord? Am I on the right path and not distracted?
ReplyDeleteBut vs 18 is the best: O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments—then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea.
I am a water person, especially like Jedidiah Smith California State Park with the Smith river that opens into the Pacific Ocean It is one of the most beautiful, peaceful places on earth. I have been there more than once and I understand why the Lord would say, "thy peace been as a river and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea". I love and understand this in my own small way because I have "seen & felt" it! Just thinking about these feelings and reading this chapter have brought me to a great tenderness of remembrance.
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